Based on a true story
Last night a telemarketer from AT&T wireless decided that we were a good family to start harassing. After 2 already thwarted attempts within an hour to contact my Dad, I happened to pick up the phone. The following conversation is more or less word-for-word:
Telemarketer: "Hello, is Mr. Smith there?"
Me: "Um...let me check. [insert me just standing around, my hand over the receiver for a few seconds] Nope, doesn't look like he's here right now."
Telemarketer: "All right, I'll try again later. By the way, is this Mrs. Smith?"
And once again, the fragile security about my masculinity has been undermined. Now I've been mistaken for sounding gay before. Hell, I can deliberately sound gay (
"Fabulooouuus!") for a larf. But despite all that, I'd like to think that I don't sound like a woman. I'm pretty sure my voice is deep enough of a baritone or bass that it is recognizeably different from the average woman's voice.
I was sorely tempted at this point in time in the conversation to retort, "Do I fucking sound like a woman, dumbass?" or maybe even "Would you like me to be, big boy?", but the shock was still registering so all I could manage was a very acerbic, deadpan "No" before hanging up the phone.
Today's Lesson: Every time I start rebuilding my faith that humanity is actually growing a brain, something like this comes along...
posted by Phillip at 8:42 AM
